Mr. Ables...

So I found out early this morning that one of my favorite teachers, a dear friend, and a Geraldine school legend passed away. Mr. Martin Ables...a name extremely familiar to so many in and beyond DeKalb County.

I've always known him...he's been like a family member to the Hiett family. Absolutely could NOT wait to have him as a teacher...he was legendary. His room was the coolest, his style of teaching was the most unique, and his passion for education was beyond belief. Two of my favorite things about his classroom: the library loft he built in the back and the mannequin standing beside his door. We always knew by how the mannequin was dressed what we would be learning that day. He had an outfit for everything.

I LOVED taking tests in his room (I know...sounds crazy) 'cause he always played classical music on the tape player (wow...a long time ago...TAPE player!). I can't remember how many times my eye was almost put out from him calling out our names and slinging our report cards at us. That was the ONLY thing exciting about report card day...it definitely wasn't because of my grades!

Perhaps my all-time favorite memory at Geraldine school was the hike we took to the mill, which would later become his house. The whole sixth grade class walked from the school, through the woods, and all the way to the place he was remodeling so he could live in it. He'd stop us along the way and show us a random plant or give us a brief history lesson on a random building we passed. He had a vision. WE didn't see it at the time...too much bird poop and lots of rotted wood. But, man...Mr. Ables was passionate about it. One of the coolest things at that time was in his sunroom. The cement had five minutes to dry and he had the sudden and brilliant idea to carve out a sun. Perfection. It looked amazing...still does.

He brought everything to life...made learning and being creative fun. He made me wanna' stay in the sixth grade forever just to be in his class again and again.

That house...MAN! That house!!!!! What a landmark in Geraldine...in DeKalb County. He brought the world to that house. It might be from a vase he bought in Italy or a random and unique clock he spotted and bought for a dollar at a yardsale. No matter where it came from, he made it the coolest thing ever. He opened that house up to so many...one being my family for my sister's wedding reception. Couldn't have gotten any better than that day and couldn't have meant more to the family knowing it was at Mr. Ables' house.

What a friend. What a servant. What an educator. What a passionate heart for the things of the world. What a MIND!!!!!

He had this crazy ability to take something someone would discard or count as useless trash and turn it into something priceless. I should know...he did that with me and about a thousand other students passing through his class.

I can't help but be jealous of him today. First and foremost, he is at the feet of our Father...and I know Jesus is smiling on him today. And...he's hugging my sister right now. Wow...what great friends they were!!!!! How hilarious they were together!!!!! They should've written a book...I'm convinced. Such a bittersweet feeling right now.

So many memories. So many laughs. So many teachable moments. So many times sitting at his house, playing cards, laughing at crazy random stuff, and leaving his house feeling as if I just had a valuable and inspiring moment.

Mr. Ables...thank you. You were and forever will be greatly Loved and appreciated for everything you were to so many. Such a man of character and integrity. Your legacy will be carried on through every student you had. You didn't just teach us, you inspired us.

Enjoy your new life. Can't wait to see you again. Please give my Melanie a big hug and tell her I'll be there soon.

I Love you...

Alright...

So...just gonna' lay out some things I've been feeling the past week or so. May not be Theologically, emotionally, or grammatically correct, but it's just how I'm feeling these days...

I'm working in a job where I see so many people with such hurt and hopelessness. Almost everyday, I hear another story of abuse, neglect, sadness, and ignorance. People come in my office or court and I can see it in their eyes...they're hurting. Whatever issue has plagued them throughout their life, it has been the stumblingblock that has somehow prevented them from reaching their potential.

These people come in my office and sit across from me...each one telling a different story of abandonment, loss, fear, etc. Some anger me. Some break my heart. Some amaze me. I always have Christian music playing in the background...always just loud enough for them to hear. I have to print lots of papers and leave the room to go to the printer. I Pray each time I leave that some sort of phrase will catch their attention...some words of Hope will flood their mind and the Lord will replay it continuously in their hearts. At some point during each case appointment, I try to make really good eye contact just to let them know someone IS listening...someone DOES care. Each time I look at them, I can't help but think, "What could they have been? What will become of them after they leave here? Can I speak just one word of Peace or Comfort that will somehow change their whole frame of mind and life?"

The adults hurt my heart, but it's the children they bring in that absolutely rip my heart apart. Some are infants...some are toddlers. Whatever the case, I Pray silently over them as I look at their faces and into their eyes. "Lord...please send someone to guide them to You."

Over the years, I've had the privilege of sitting down and talking with numerous people about issues in their life. Maybe it's relationship issues. Maybe it's financial issues. Perhaps it's self-esteem issues. Whatever that "thing" is, it has stopped them in their tracks and they can't seem to move forward. It's this momentary pause that can last for years--even a lifetime--for people.

My heart is breaking for people. I literally hurt at times for those who have never had someone in their life to speak words of encouragement. There are those who've been walking the Earth for years upon years and have no idea what they're here for, what they were created for, what their gifts are, and how important they are.

I know words of encouragement can't take away the pain people have experienced in their lives. I'm not naive enough to think it's the one thing that can push people into their destiny and purpose. However, I am saying it could be enough to change the way they think about themselves...to plunge them into a life of Hope. HOPE...a four letter word that could alter the whole course of a life, yet so many don't know about.

It's amazing what a hug can do for someone. A "good game," high five, pat on the back, a "good job,"...gosh...anything to make someone smile. Anything to get someone through the day. Anything to make someone know they're WORTH something.

Yes...I want to be married. Yes...I want to have children. My deepest desire is to have my own family. However, I feel the Lord speaking something deep in my spirit telling me to simply Love people. I don't care what you've done. I don't care where you've been. I don't care what religion you are, if you hate religion period, what denomination you choose, what doctrine you believe, or if you flat out hate me. Love. If it takes me remaining single the rest of my life to show just one person how much they're worth in the eyes of the Father...I'll do it.

I Peter 4:8 (The Message)...

"Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in Prayer. Most of all, Love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anythnig. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless--cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God's words; if help, let it be God's hearty help. That way, God's bright Presence will be evident in everything through Jesus and He'll get all the credit as the One mighty in everything--encores to the end of time."

My goodness...what Words!!!!! The past few days have brought an unexpected renewal in my passion for Jesus. My deepest Prayer is that someone could see just one ounce of resemblance of the Father in me. That someone--somehow and in some way--could see just a hint of Jesus in my life so that they can know Him. My heart has softened in His Presence...in His Glory. My God...how great You are!!!!!

Find what you're good at. Use it to further the Kingdom of God. Acts 10:38 says, "Jesus went about doing good." That's the key...do "good" everywhere you go. You never know what one act or phrase of kindness will do for someone. Show one person their worth and they can change the world around them.

Joint Camp...

My Mom had knee replacement a few weeks back (1/26/09). Before having the surgery, she had to go to--what the doctors call--"Joint Camp." Yeah...I laughed everytime I heard her say, "The other day at Joint Camp..." I'd bust out laughing.

These past few years have been pretty tough on her...and us. Her limp has gradually gotten worse, standing up became exhausting for her, and sitting down was painful just to watch. I can't imagine what she felt.

I remember my Grandfather (her Dad) spraying WD-40 on his knees to make them "work better." He didn't smell the best in the world, but he said it did the trick! Arthritis seems to be a plague in my family. Mom often says in reference to arthritis, "I hate Arthur. I just hate him."

So, she FINALLY made the decision to have her sixty something year old knee replaced. For her, she was both excited and nervous. For me, it was a mixture of excitement, relief, and fear...fear of something tragic happening in surgery and losing my hero. BUT...I knew her life was in our Father's Hands. I had to trust Him.

My Mom...she's a tender warrior. May not make sense to anybody else, but it sure does to me. I look at her and want to treat her with such fragile hands, but I forget what a fighter she is. I forget what this woman has been through...

Con-Con and Daddywood...those were her parents...my grandparents...and the most wonderful and hilarious people on the face of the planet. Before I go on, I gotta' explain the names. I'm sure there are some really weird faces being made right now after reading those names. It's all my oldest cousin's fault. Liz apparently couldn't pronounce "Grandmother Conner" or "Granddaddy Norwood" (yes...his name was Frank Norwood) correctly, so she invented the names "Con-Con" and "Daddywood." And no...Con-Con had no idea what that word means in Spanish and we never told her. ;-)

They weren't the richest in the world, but they weren't the poorest, either. After experiencing the Great Depression, they both learned to hold on to every nickel and dime they could get their hands on, as well as every piece of cloth and material 'cause Con-Con could sew like nobody's business. They knew how to stretch things to the limit. Daddywood worked so hard out in the fields...and he made everybody else do the same. Mom tells stories of picking cotton and staying out from sun up to sun down no matter how hot or cold it got...stories I just Love to hear because it reminds me all over again how strong my mother is.

Getting married at 19, having their first child by 20...and living with my Dad's parents. Knowing Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw, I'm sure that wasn't the easiest of times, either. They were amazing people, but they were just as tough as Con-Con and Daddywood.

At 21, they had another child...named him Chris. This birth, however, wasn't as joyous as their first. Chris was born dead. Not having the equipment they do today, there was no way for them to know he had been dead for a day or so. My Mom tells the story and it breaks my heart. She had no idea until after she gave birth and woke up from them putting her under that her child didn't make it. She watched from the hospital room as they carried Chris to the grave site...the doctors wouldn't release her to go. Perhaps what breaks my heart the most is when she talks about sharing a room with a woman who was nursing her newborn child...hearing the baby cry and listening to the mother talk to her baby...and the whole time my Mom was grieving over losing her's. Ugh...I can't imagine.

About 15 years later and four kids more, my parents had to file for bankruptcy. My Dad farmed, but no farmer could survive during those droughts. The government eventually forgave those debts due to so many farmers losing everything. My Mom taught piano and voice lessons. She had 50 to 60 students a week...and taking care of four kids, all of which played basketball, volleyball, softball, in the band, and involved in all the clubs. Whew...how did she do it?!

She led Worship at my home church, as well...still does! Been doing that for close to 40 years now, I think. She was a wife, a mother of four, taught 50 to 60 students a week, and arranged all the music for their choir and the children's Ministry...and my parents never missed any of our games. Good grief. No wonder she's crazy. ;-)

During my tenth grade year, a lot happened at my church...went through some extremely bad times. My Mom worked the hardest to be the Peacemaker, yet got attacked the most. I can remember those times...she felt so alone and cried everyday. It was horrible. It's so amazing, though...those same people have come back so many years later and apologizing every chance they get. God is Good...He takes care of everything.

October 25, 2005...the absolute worst day of our lives...the day I lost my sister. She was the oldest child...my parents had her when they were 19. She and my Mom weren't just mother/daughter...they were best friends. They grew up together. My parents...their Faith would not be shaken. Yeah...we still cry. Yeah...my Mom has her days when she questions and becomes a bit angry. We all do.

My sister and her husband and child lived in Columbus, GA...had been there for five years. We lost her on Tuesday and we had the first visitation in Columbus on Thursday. My goodness...what a crowd to pay their respects. Close to 700 came. I sat and cried most of the night. My Mom...she stood and shook every hand and hugged every neck. That Saturday, we had the final visitation and funeral in Geraldine. We were exhausted...physically, emotionally, and Spiritually. Close to 800 came that day. My Mom never sat down. With two bad knees and on the edge of collapsing from such grief, she stood and did it again...hugged every neck...shook every hand...heard every story. She did it for Melanie. Now...that's a Mom.

Every Christmas and a million people in the house...my Mom lives in that kitchen. No matter how bad her knees got and no matter how bad, sick, or exhausted she felt...she was making EVERYBODY'S favorite meals and desserts...from scratch. By the end, she would be so exhausted, but it didn't matter. She would do it all over again. She gives every bit of herself in every situation and cares nothing about getting anything in return. That's just the way she is.

I could go on and on about her...how strong, courageous, amazing, and Loving she is. She is the Proverbs 31 woman...such a woman of God. Her character, intergrity, and her passion for Christ blows me away. There is not one person that could say any negative word about her. If you meet her for only five minutes, you've been impacted and changed forever.

So many people approach me and say, "Sherrie...you come from good roots. You can't get any better than your parents." Don't I know it! The older I get, the more I understand what amazing people they are. I often tell people I was raised in the "Beaver Cleaver" home. My Dad...I Pray to marry a man just like him. My Mom...I want to be exactly who she is. If I can be close to half of what they are, I'll be doing good. I will never be able to measure up to my parents. Never.



So yeah...she had the surgery a few weeks back and is now walking around. My Dad told her she would be calling him "Hitler" by the time it was all over. They had their moments, but he's the best physical therapist she could ever have. He thinks he's a doctor, anyway. ;-) It's been so amazing to see her progress and to watch her fight her way through all the pain.

Not exactly sure how I got so Blessed to be their daughter, but man...I sure am thankful He chose me to be theirs.

I'd Rather Have Jesus...

Alright, so I went to South Carolina the weekend before Christmas to visit the Sheppard family. While there, the Anointed (EXTREMELY Anointed) and beautiful (VERY beautiful) Jason Crabb sang in their church's Christmas program that Saturday night and Sunday morning.

For those who aren't familiar with the hot Crabb, he sang with the Crabb Family...once a very Southern Gospel group now turned pretty contemporary. He's kind've out on his own these days and doing his own thing. The boy can SANG!!!!! I'm thoroughly convinced he was lookin' at me the whole time he was on stage (I was on the front row). ;-)

ANYWAY...

He sang a song I haven't heard in years..."I'd Rather Have Jesus." Granted, cutie Crabb could probably sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" and have everybody in the audience running to the Altar. That's a given. However, what he did with this song was nothing short of amazing. Wait. No. It was nothing short of Anointed. It was more than obvious he meant what he was singing...it Ministered to him long before he ever sang it to us. It's a song that brought me to tears that night and has been stuck in my spirit ever since then. I have literally sang that song everyday for almost a month.

It's not just a song that I've been singing, though. It's a song I've felt as if I've been living for a while. It's in my head constantly. True story...I was in Wal-Mart tonight and caught myself singing it under my breath. I'm sure people thought I was talkin' to myself or something. People walking past me could hear me singing it. It's in my thoughts constantly.

I got in the car after my extremely uneventful trip to "Wally World" and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "I'd rather have Jesus than anything..." And it hit me. He's trying to tell me something. He's preparing me for something. He's wanting those words to go deep in my spirit.

I would rather have Jesus than silver or gold.
I would rather be His than have riches untold.
I would rather have Jesus than houses or land.
I would rather be led by His nail pierced Hand.

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin's dread sway.
I would rather have Jesus than anything
That this world affords today.

I would rather have Jesus than men's applause.
I would rather be Faithful to His dear Cause.
I would rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.
I would rather be true to His Holy Name.

I can't help but think about my life as I sing words like "This is the air I breathe," "You're all I want," "I would rather have Jesus," or "I have fallen in Love with Him."

Really? Honestly? Would I really rather have Jesus than a marriage and children? Would I really rather have Him than nice clothes or a dependable car? Could I really lose all my family and friends and still be satisfied with only Him? I'm sure some are appalled I've even asked those questions. But, really...would I? It's not that I'm questioning my Love for Christ. I'm questioning how much and to what extent I really Love Him.

It's rather easy for me to say Jesus is all I need when He's never been all I've ever had. Saying I'd rather have Him is pretty simple considering I've always had every other option in the world. I'm sick...I take medicine. Real sick...I go to the doctor and whip out my insurance card. I'm hungry (and even when I'm not hungry)...I go to the grocery store, some restaurant, or just make something at home and eat to the point I've made myself sick. I feel alone...I call my family, friends, or push a button for Charter's On Demand and choose one of about a million movies. I'm cold...I look in my closet and grab a random sweatshirt or blanket.

I'm starting to chuckle as I'm typing this. Picture it...I'm laid up on a nice couch covered in a blanket sipping on a sweet Diet Dr. Pepper and just put some thick socks on 'cause my feet got cold, but just turned the heat down 'cause it got a little hot. Everything at convenience...everything at my fingertips. I thought I was gonna' die the other night 'cause I was freezing in my house and I complained about it for a week. I get a little uncomfortable and I start trippin' out.

Really...what if it came down between having Jesus or the big things I take for granted? A house that's warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Food at my fingertips so I won't "starve to death." A comfortable bed I can sleep on after a hard day's work (which ultimately consists of sitting in a plush chair in my own office, walking to/from the printer, and talking on the phone to clients from 8:00-4:30 Monday through Friday and provides me with incredible benefits and retirement). As a matter of fact, I bought myself a brand new mattress not too long ago simply because my other one hurt my back. I'm a baby. I have a small heater siting beside my office chair just in case I get a little chilly. My cable and internet...it's there just in case I don't get too bored and it's super fast so I won't get impatient. I've yet to buy a microwave for my house, so I'm actually having to wait for things to heat up in the stove. Rough life.

I'm sometimes embarrassed of myself. More often that that, I'm disgusted with myself. I talk about and sing about Jesus being all I want, being all I need, and being the air I breathe and all the while I reach for and grab every other option in the world but Him.

Please don't misunderstand me. In no way am I implying that any of the aforementioned aren't Blessings in themselves. God has Blessed me richly and beyond belief. I don't deserve anything I have...not in the least bit. However, I do believe there is a time coming during which I will be tested. I believe the whole world will be tested. We are a Blessed nation...we are also a spoiled nation. It would be very interesting to see how many of us who claim to be so dedicated to Christ and so willing to sacrifice everything for His sake would quickly change our minds once our comfort is threatened or taken away. It's possible I'd be the first one to throw in the towel. I won't dare think too highly of myself.

1st Corinthians 10:12 (The Message)..."Don't be so naive and self-confident. You're not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence."

I'm over trying to impress people and I'm certainly not about to sit here and attempt to come across as if I've got it all together or figured out. I've done that for too many years and it's exhausting. I am who I am and striving everyday to become who I'm supposed to be...who God has Called me to be. I want to be ready when that day of testing comes. I want so badly to say I'll sell or give away everything I have if He asks me to. I think will. I hope I will. Thank God for His Grace and Mercy...that it's His Strength and not mine.

So...here I am just as I am. I'm trying to Love You more, Lord...more and more everyday. Not trying to be anybody but who You're making and molding me to be. Yours.

Unleashed!!!!!

So...here I am in 2009 and completely ready to be Free. I mean...REALLY Free. I'm talkin' about...COMPLETELY Free!!!!! I'm me. I'm real. I'm who I am. However, I'm ready to be me, real, and who I am in a new kind've way.

I have this problem...this issue. It's been hindering me since I was a kid...always stressing me out and always on my mind. I think it's just now hitting me and I'm realizing how much it's plagued my emotions, my time, my heart, my energy. What is it? The fear of hurting/offending/angering people. Instead of naming all those verbs throughout this blog, I'm simply gonna' call it "offending people." That should sum it up, I think. ;-)

Okay...I know it sounds completely retarded and stupid...probably even petty to some. BUT...it's the truth. I hate knowing I've offended someone. I go out of my way to pacify people just so they won't be upset or mad at me. A large part of it stems from knowing how much I use to get offended at people. I was the world's WORST!!!!! Not saying I still don't get my feelings hurt at times and definitely not implying I never get angry. God has brought me so far...and I've chosen to go.

I heard years ago that it's impossible for someone to make another person angry, but it's a reality that people allow themselves to become offended. I really grabbed hold of that this past year. Perhaps it's because I've been in a situation in which I've seen so many people wearing their emotions on their sleeves and become so offended that they simply quit and walk away from people, commitments, churches...even from Ministry.

The Message translation of Galatians 2:20 says, "I've been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear Righteous before you or have your good opinion..."

Just one of the amazing Words from God.

About a year ago, I somehow--and for reason--stopped trying to impress people...even stopped trying to impress God. I'm me. I'm who I am. I'm learning about who I'm supposed to be and striving everyday to get there. I'm not trying to go too slow or too fast...just going at the only pace I know how. God's pace. Ego isn't really my issue. It's the fear of offending people.

Pastor Wayne Sheppard preached a sermon a few years back on that same Scripture. He got one of the students to lay on the floor and play dead while another student pretended to kick him. He said, "If you're truly dead, you can't feel that. If you're truly dead, you won't care. You can't feel when people hurt you, when people offend you, when people make fun of you or get mad at you. When you're crucified, you're dead. You can't feel what people do to you because it's no longer you living...your flesh is dead."

I'm not big on new year's resolutions. Perhaps it's because I've made so many and broken them all. Not really sure. BUT...if I had to name one, it'd be one with two sides to it: no more allowing myself to be offended AND no longer allowing the fear of offending people to hold me back.

Let me make myself clear here...I'm not at all saying I no longer care how I treat others. I'm simply stating I can only do my best...and that's it. I will treat people with all the Love, care, and respect in the world. People who know me (and I hope people who've known me for only a short time) know I would never in a million years hurt or offend someone intentionally. Never.

I'm learning to walk away. I'm learning to move on. I'm learning how to reach out, then step away after doing all I can do. I'll walk a million miles with someone...go as far as I can possibly go. Forcing my help and constantly stepping in to save someone else's pain is admirable, but I've learned I can also get in God's way. Sometimes, a person needs to experience God on their own.

So...I'll chase someone down to ask for Forgiveness. I'll go wherever they are to sit down face-to-face and pour my heart out with an apology. BUT...I refuse to become an enabler or stroke their pride. I've been on both ends of that scenario...neither is fulfilling or and neither is healthy. I'll encourage as much as I can, but there's a time to let go and let God. Seems so cliché, I know.

With all that said, I'm ready to be "Unleashed." I feel as if the Church (notice the upper case 'C') can see the Prize right in front of us...what we want is at our fingertips. We're reaching for It and stretching our arms as far as they can go. It's the sins--big or small--that cause our feet to remain planted and keeps us from walking towards and grabbing our Joy, our Peace, our future. It's time to cut the cord and "bind the strongman". The key, however, still remains in how much we want to be unleashed. Taking a leash off a dog makes no difference if the dog isn't interested in what's laying right in front of him.

We're preparing for the "Unleashed" program at The Summit. It's a six week series dealing with acceptance (the fear of being rejected), grief, anger/bitterness, divorce/separation, and addiction. The last week will be a straight up celebration of being Free and "Unleashed." Of course, there are a million other issues we could discuss. These are just a few.

You're more than welcome to attend. Starts at 10 a.m. on Sunday mornings and 6:30 on Wednesday nights (for the Elevate Student Ministry). The small groups will be participating, as well. You DON'T wanna' miss it.

I'm so excited about this program. If we'll just really think about these messages and the urgency to become what God has Called and created us to be...we can be "UNLEASHED"!!!!!

The River...

So I went to revival this past Monday night (12/1) and heard John Richardson preach. It's been a while since I heard him, so I was pretty excited. I remember him from "back in the day." I was around 16 and just received the Baptism of the Spirit about a month before. I was on "cloud nine" simply because my life since the Baptism was so amazing. I saw everything so differently. Everything about me was different. HOWEVER...there were those saying I didn't really "receive it" because I didn't speak in the Spirit.

OKAY...I know that whole issue stirs up a huge debate. Is speaking in tongues the initial evidence of the Holy Spirit? Personally...I don't believe so. BUT (before I get stoned)...that's not what this blog is about. So, please spare me the comments trying to change my mind. This is just MY opinion. WHEW!!!!! Okay...moving right along...

That month was both a high and low for me. I was straight up STRESSING about it 'cause I didn't think I "got it." (that phrase always cracks me up) On the same token, however, I was so happy. I read the Word the same as before, but saw it in a completely different way. Things I had read a million times seemed to change before my eyes and go deep in my spirit. During that time, I learned why the Word is called "the LIVING Word." It was the same, yet changing everytime I read it. It was so amazing!!!!! It STILL IS amazing!!!!!

So...here I go to Fyffe Church of God on a random night to hear a random preacher who (I believe) was in a random gang. Ha...that sentence was funny. ANYWAY...I remember saying to the Lord, "Okay, God...I don't care anymore. I don't care if I ever speak in tongues, I'm simply thankful for Your Love. That's all I need. I thank You for the Power You've shown and given me through your Spirit." Guess what! That night is the first night I spoke in the Spirit!!!!! It was INCREDIBLE!!!!!

That was the last time I heard John Richardson...16 years ago. I was pretty pumped about hearing him again. I had no idea what I was in for. Just like "back in the day," I went expecting to hear a good Word, but was literally taken by surprise at what the Lord did for me that night. I can't remember what he preached on 16 years ago, but it's still fresh on what he taught us on Monday night...Ezekiel 47.

For some reason, I've become a bit calloused at things. I don't cry much anymore. Not that I WANT to cry, but it's sometimes a Healing experience and does me good to shed some tears. I have compassion and sympathy, but not like I used to. Perhaps it's because I hear horrible stories all day long at work and not surprised by anything anymore. Maybe it's a good place to be. Maybe it's not. I'm not exactly sure. I just know that I'm not really moved by much these days. I've been in all kinds of services and heard all kinds of stories. I'm not taken off guard at much...nothing surprises me.

I got there and sat beside Haven. Heard the choir sing and it was, of course, wonderful. He started to preach and I found myself trying to get reaquainted with his lingo and accent. I can't remember where he's from, but he pronounces things so funny (well...funny to me, anyway!). So, of course, I'd whisper a few of those funny sounding words back to Haven and we'd chuckle a little. I remember thinking, "Gah...I'm not even in the mood to cry or anything. I hope he doesn't call me out."

You're probably already guessing what happened, huh?! He started talking about a trip to the Bahamas he had taken years ago and how he couldn't swim. He told this hilarious story about how some of the people there put floaties on him and let him float behind a boat while people were diving. Through a series of events, he went under water for a bit. When he surfaced, he was amazed at all the beautiful things God had made and said, "...only He could create such beautiful colors." He then said something that completely caused me to break. He said, "God responded and said, 'Yeah, but John...I made you.'"

Immediate HUGE tears began to form and effortlessly ran down my cheek. It wasn't a new revelation, but was definitely a rhema word for me. It was spoken just for me at just the right time and from just the right person in just the right way. It was for ME. It broke my calloused and hard heart. And--you guessed it--he called me out. To be quite honest, I can't remember a lot he spoke and Prayed over me, but I remember him asking the question, "How deep do you want to go in the River?"

Again...it's not that anything he preached on was new or nothing I've never heard before. Ezekiel 47 is something I've heard preached and taught a million times...a chapter I've read and researched even more. It just all kind've clicked with me that night. There was, however, a part that I've never heard or even thought about before...something he brought out that night. He asked how many had ever tried to run or walk in the shallow part of the ocean. He said, "What happens when you try to walk through it for a while? You get tired."

BOOM!!!!! That's it!!!!! I've been so tired lately. Of course, I've been worn out physically and emotionally, but those things happen because I'm worn out Spiritually. I haven't grown "weary in well doing,"...I've just grown weary. I'm exhausted. No wonder my heart is tough! No wonder my emotions are so stale. I'm tired. Weary. Exhausted. Worn out.

He went on to teach us that we can go deep in the River...deep in His Spirit and get further and further out. We can go so far and the water be up to our neck...doing things right and reaping the Blessings from being out in that River. BUT...we're still in control. The goal is to go so far to where our feet can't touch anymore. That's when the current takes us where it wants us to go. WOW...that's what I needed. I know...for some of you reading, it's such an elementary revelation. But, for me...it clicked. Everything about that night was just what I needed to hear. I called Sister Ginger afterwards and said, "I feel like I just fell in Love with Jesus all over again."

Ezekiel 47:8-12 has been my focus since that night. Any of these verses could be broken and down and researched in a million different ways. Trust me...I went to Lee University, then to Seminary! I once had to write a five page paper on John 11:35..."Jesus wept." The shortest verse in the Bible! Shoot...I could write forever on Ezekiel 47!!!!! BUT...these are just a few of my observations. I'm no Theologian, so don't get excited or take my word for it. ;-)

Verses 8-10 tells us the River flows "into the sea, the sea of stagnant waters. When It empties into those waters, the sea will become fresh. Wherever the River flows, Life will flourish--great schools of fish--because the River is turning the salt sea into fresh water. Where the River flows, Life abounds. Fishermen will stand shoulder to shoulder along the shore...the sea will teem with fish of all kinds."

What I gather from those verses is a Call for us to do a few things. One...allow the River to flow in and through us. For where that River flows is abundant Life. Simply put...it's personal growth.

Two...it's a Call for the Church to unite. "Fishermen will stand shoulder to shoulder..." When that happens, the "...sea will teem with fish of all kinds." I feel as if the Church dips in the sea at random spots and at random times to catch a few "fish"...and sadly, we seem satisfied with that. What would happen if we came together in a Spirit of unity? Forgetting about denominations, doctrines, hurts, and fears...uniting with the simple, yet Powerful focus and belief that "fish of all kinds" are "fish" created and Loved by the Creator. Every person matters.

Three...we are to go where the "fish" are. "Fishermen will stand shoulder to shoulder along the shore." Go where they are. We have to stop waiting for them to come to us. It's a true fact--but at times an excuse--to say or think the Lord will bring them to us. Don't get me wrong, I believe He will do that at times...many times. The Anointing in Itself is attractive and Powerful, so I'm not negating that fact that He can bring "fish" to us and make us attractive to them. HOWEVER...believing only in that theory can cause laziness, apathy, and for the River to become "stagnant." Complacency kills...and it has almost murdered the Church.

Verse 12..."...on both banks will grow fruit trees of all kinds. Their leaves won't wither, the fruit won't fail. Every month, they'll bear fresh fruit because the River from the Sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will be for food and their leaves for Healing."

Here's where I believe going deeper in the River jumps from a personal desire for growth to an unselfish mentality to cause others to flourish. The River causes others to Live. "On both banks will grow fruit trees of all kinds...Every month they'll bear fruit because the River from the Santuary flows to them. Their fruit will be for food and their leaves for Healing." What happens if we stop growing? What happens if we stop Praying? What happens if we stop Worshiping? Caring? Loving? Chasing after Christ? What happens not only to us, but to THEM?! We make the mistake of somehow becoming so focused on us and how only we benefit from a close walk with the Lord. But...what about them? If we back off...even for just a second...how many will suffer?

Why don't I drink? Why don't I smoke? Why don't I give myself away in relationships? Of course, it's my moral convictions that drive me to stay pure. But, there are many, many times when I just want to throw my hands up and quit. Why don't I? It's the kid in the student Ministry that looks up to me. It's the person on the Praise Team that has come so far. It's the friend that I've Ministered to and Prayed for time and time again. It's the guy in high school that tried to get me to give in and I said I never would. It's the child that hugs me every Sunday. It's the elder that has poured into me for so many years that I can't stand to disappoint. When all we focus on is ourselves, there is a greater tendency to quit.

Why do I chase after Jesus so much? It's for me. It's for you. It's for those I don't even know. My relationship with Christ is vital for me...and even more for those around me.

So Long, Chief Full of Bull and Sister G.

It all started in February 2002. I was working for the Partnership for a Drug-Free DeKalb as the coordinator of Mentor DeKalb and was scheduled to meet with the new student Pastor at Fyffe Church of God in hopes he would want to implement the program at the church. If I'm not mistaken, the meeting was for ten on a Tuesday morning. I gathered up all my mentoring material and had all the right words to pitch a great program. No worries. I had this under control. Meet at ten, be out by eleven, and meeting friends for lunch at twelve. No worries. WRONG!!!!!

Pastor Wayne and I met for two hours that day. We talked about Mentor DeKalb for a total of twenty minutes. ;-) It seemed as if there was an instant connection between us. We talked about everything...mostly church. In the middle of our conversation, I mentioned to him that I was the student Pastor at Geraldine First United Methodist Church and most of my students were about to graduate. I thought nothing of the statement...the conversation continued on.

I started to leave and we were standing in the parking lot. He looked at me and asked the question that completely messed up my whole world. "When you leave your church, call me. You're going to be my Praise and Worship leader. Think about it and give me a call."

HA!!!!! HA!!!!! HA!!!!! HA!!!!! HA!!!!!

On the inside, I thought, "Okay...yeah. This cat is off his rocker. I don't play or sing in front of anybody." On the outside, I looked at him and said, "Sure. Yeah. Okay." I thanked him for the meeting and got the heck outta' dodge. As soon as my car door shut and he was out of sight, I started laughing so hard.

It wasn't even a thought for me. I didn't need to Pray about it! I could barely play a few Worship songs. I can barely read music!!!!! Sing in front of people?! NO WAY!!!!! It took me a total of two seconds to make that decision. Big fat NO!!!!!

I called him a few days later, thanked him for the offer, and respectfully declined. My excuse? My job required me to work occassional nights to train people and I just wasn't sure I could commit to it. Sounded like a smooth answer to me.

Not too long after that, I saw Pastor Wayne again. This time, he was with his wife, Ginger...otherwise known as "Sister" Ginger. He made the offer again. Of course, I replied with a big fat "no." Surpringly though, it took me just a little longer to respond that time.

The days and weeks to follow weren't very pretty. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't get that stinkin' church off my mind. I woke up thinkin' about it. I went to bed thinkin' about it. During the day, it'd cross my mind a million times. It seemed like someone was talkin' about Fyffe everywhere I went and I saw signs and shirts with "FYFFE" written all over it. I couldn't get away from it! Fyffe was everywhere!!!!!

I caved. I swallowed my pride and showed up at Fyffe on a random Wednesday night about a month later. I drove up and had no idea where to go or where Pastor Wayne was. I saw Sister Ginger coming out of the Life Center and practically ran to her. She said, "Hey! We miss you!" I said, "Where's Pastor Wayne? I know I gotta' do it." She smiled and said, "He'll be glad to see you. He's in his office."

Oh my gosh...the walk to his office was the longest and most difficult walk of my life. I walked in and smiled. He said, "You ready?" I nodded my head and said, "I don't know how I'm gonna' do it, but...yeah. I'm scared to death." He told me to come by for lunch the next day.

The church's Sanctuary was being remodeled during that time and everything was out in the middle of the floor. When I got there the next day, he wanted me to play and sing for him. It suddenly occurred to me that he had never even heard me play or sing!!!!! Now that's some major Faith!!!!! I walked to the piano (which was sitting at a random spot in the middle of the floor) and my hands were shaking like crazy. I tried to sing and my voice was shaking even worse!!!!! This singing and playing in front of people was a HUGE deal to me. I was scared to death!!!!!

He promised me that day that he would push and work with me, but he would never push me beyond what he thought I could do. Boy was he right!!!!! He did push me...in every area of my life he pushed me. It was extremely difficult at times. There were moments I wanted to leave and never come back simply because it was so far out of my comfort zone. I remember leading Worship that first night...it was me, a drummer, and two or three vocals. I came off that stage and promised myself I would never get up there again.

Well...here I am six years later and still leading Worship. I look back at all the experiences I've had and all the services I've had the honor to play/sing in. Without Pastor Wayne and Sister Ginger pushing me, Praying for me, encouraging me, counseling me, and being patient with me...I know beyond doubt I wouldn't be here. Through them, the Lord has taken me places I never thought possible. My whole life has changed simply because they're in it.

The best sermons I've ever heard in my life have come from him. The best insight and counsel has come from them. Sister Ginger has inspired me beyond belief with her passion, sincerity, character, wisdom, and Anointing. I look at Greyson and Tyler and see a legacy and Anointing that will be carried on for generations to come. There are many who can touch other people. There are some who will impact lives. There are very few who can step into someone's life and completely alter the course of life. That's what the Sheppard family has done for me...stirred a gift, encouraged it to fruition, and showed me my destiny.

They're leaving to go to South Carolina...Greer, South Carolina. They'll be at one of the top three Church of Gods in the nation, Praise Cathedral. Man...that church has no clue what they're in for. This family, the Sheppard clan, steps into lives and messes up everything. Talents they never they had, dreams they've never dreamed, visions they've never had, gifts they've never thought of...somehow and some way, they have the ability to stir up things that are seemingly impossible.

They came to Fyffe Church of God and had 30 students. Since then, they've peaked at 200, built a new facility, won a national Teen Talent title, gone to Indianapolis, San Antonio, New Mexico, and Kansas to Minister, gained about 20 student staff, and changed thousands of lives. They've done the impossible in the small town of Fyffe. They've done the impossible in me.

They've become family to me. Plain and simple. They know my best and they know my worst. Still...they believe in me. For some reason, they still Love me. I'll never be able to repay them for what they've done for me...never.

So, Chief Full-of-Bull and Sister G. (I'm bound by confidentiality not to reveal her Indian name)...thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for pushing me beyond what I thought I could go. Thank you for all the counsel, patience, and Love. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family. Thank you for the memories.

Thank you for Loving Jesus, because--if you didn't--I wouldn't be where I am today.