Gettin' Real...

Whew!!!!! Last week was SO incredibly busy. It was amazing and wonderful, but I'm kind've glad it's all over. If I could've had just one of those thousand events from the past seven days, it would've been better to handle. It just so happened that everything fell at the same time.

I got back from my UNBELIEVABLE cruise last Monday night. I gotta' say...I did NOT want to come back. It was definitely the best trip ever. It was a great time of relaxation and self-reflection. First to Nassau, then to Cococay, and back to Port Canaveral. Of course, we stopped by Auburn and Columbus to see my family. That in itself was wonderful. I miss them so much.

The highlight of my trip was most definitely Cococay. It's not that I didn't Love Nassau 'cause I certainly did. It was SO beautiful!!!!! Spending the day at Cabbage Beach was amazing...riding waverunners, seeing Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Flavor Flav, and Anna Nicole's houses...insanely awesome. The waters were SO rough, though...beautiful weather, just very rough. We were jumping waves like crazy!!!!!

Cococay is a private island owned by Royal Caribbean. It's about a mile long and about sixty miles from Nassau. I think that's the reason I enjoyed it so much...no pressure to buy anything...no hustling. I rode the waverunners there, too, and it was PERFECT!!!!! I held it down at 65mph the whole time. I wanted to go faster, but that's as good as it would get. I can't even explain how amazing it was.

We got back late Monday night and were SO tired from driving!!!!! AH!!!!! Definitely flying next time. I knew there was no time for rest, though...sang at a church on Tuesday night, led the student Ministry Wednesday night, took my cousin down to the Emmaus Walk Thursday night, led Worship for a women's retreat Friday and Saturday, down to a candelight service for Emmaus Saturday night, led Worship the next morning at church, then back to Emmaus for the closing service. WHEW!!!!! Very tiring.

Something very amazing happened to me on Saturday at the women's retreat, though. It's so mind blowing how God can orchestrate things so perfectly and take me by complete surprise. The whole time there, I knew I had a job and responsibility...to lead in Worship. The talks were great and the time of communion was incredible, but my main concern was leading those women into the awesome and lifechanging Presence of our Father. I was focused...focused on leading THEM.

Just when I had it all under control and had everything planned out...WHAM!!!!! God hits me with this simple, yet most Powerful revelation. Here's how it happened...

Nancy Liederbach was about to do her talk on "'Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus." Obviously, the perfect song to preface her talk would be that old hymn, right? WRONG. Nancy leaned over to me and said, "Can you just play "Jesus Loves Me"? Of course, I agreed without hesitation. On the outside, I was the posterchild for perfect submission. On the inside, however, I was thinkin', "Are you serious? People aren't going to lift their hands and cry at "Jesus Loves Me"! This is the second day...the last talk! This is where we lower the boom!!!!!"

Thankfully, my Mom was there. She's THE best Worship leader in the world...hands down. I'm ashamed to say it, but...I've never played "Jesus Loves Me" a day in my life. She has, though...she's done Vacation Bible Schools for a million years and I knew she could play it with her eyes closed. So...I walked over to her and asked her to play it. Of course, she did the best job in the world. The Lord used that one song to set an atmosphere that I can't help but think was just for me. Selfish...I know.

Before I go on, I need to go into a bit more embarrassing detail. I don't at all want to say I'm numb to retreats or talks or Praise and Worship or the Lord in general. That's definitely not the case. It's simply been a matter of allowing myself to fall into a routine of Worship...knowing what song to do, how to play it, what words to add in, how to make it personal, and how to tug at the heart strings. Predictibility...that's what it was.

So...my Mom leads us in "Jesus Loves Me", then Nancy begins to speak. She's sharing her testimony...she's making us laugh, then making us cry. Right in the middle of her talk, she said this one phrase that completely changed me, broke me, and humbled me. I've heard this phrase a million times throughout my life. I think it had become so common that I heard it, but never knew it. It was a fact that I knew was real and I definitely believed it, but I never let it sink in and change me.

That phrase..."Jesus Loves Me."

I can just hear some of you guys right now. Some are thinking, "What? That's it? Are you serious? Tell me something I don't know, Sherrie. Really...how elementary can you get?" I know. I agree. That's exactly what I thought at first. "Come on, Nancy...seriously. Tell me something I don't know." Yeah...I thought that for about two minutes before God completely rocked my world and changed that one phrase from a simple statement to a complete life-changing and empowering revelation.

He Loves me!!!!! He seriously Loves ME!!!!! Yeah...I've done a million things wrong...and a lot of you reading this could probably name 'em all. Of course, I've made intentional and unintentional mistakes. For years, I've allowed my mind to be completely tortured by those sins, those relationships lost, and those mistakes I've committed. I've replayed those in my mind over and over and over and over and over. Every hurt I've inflicted, every lie I've ever told, every manipulative event I've caused, everything I've ever stole, everytime I ever cheated, every horrible thought I've turned into reality...they've been a CONSTANT stumbling block.

One of the things Nancy admitted in her talk was how she's been "getting real." Perhaps that one of the reasons I got that awesome and empowering revelation...because she was real. Have I been real all throughout my Ministry? Heck no. As a matter of fact, I think I'm just beginning to get there. I'm learning that's the only way Ministry is effective...it's gotta' be real. She said this life-changing statement with such passion and confidence that I felt as if it was the Lord speaking it directly to me through her.

For years, I've been afraid to admit my faults, my mistakes, my "thorns in the flesh." Not anymore. It's both amazing and sad how I've allowed people's thoughts and opinions to rule my actions, my thoughts, and--more importantly--my relationship with Christ. It's as if I've given permission for someone's opinion of me to outweigh and negate God's Love for me. Sad, I know. But...very true.

I absolutely Love the people I'm surrounded by right now. They're not afraid to get in with the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, and the weakest of the weak. It's not about the big numbers, the loud applauses, or the biggest and best equipment. All we had this past weekend was an old piano and a crappy microphone. The lights didn't fade to low, there was no spotlight, no words on the screen, and no band to back me up. A lot of the time, I didn't even sing. I just played. That was the beauty of it all, though...it was real. There were times I got completely lost in the moment and forgot I was in a room full of people.

So, yeah...here I am. Love me or hate me. Talk about me good or talk about me bad. Judge me for my past, present, or future. Fuel the rumors and get the facts. I don't really care anymore. I'm gettin' real...one day at a time. I'm continually being Restored. Constantly being Reborn. Completely being Loved.

Praise the Lord. Jesus Loves me.