It's so amazing how the Lord can take a band that's never played together before and make the music sound so seasoned and crisp. It's not the best sound system in the world and we certainly aren't the best musicians/vocalists to ever walk the face of the earth. Guess we're great examples of God's Strength flowing and working through man's weakness, huh? ;-)
Even though my Mom taught music/voice for almost 45 years, I took only one lesson from her...something I will forever regret. Wasn't interested in music at all growing up...probably because I heard it 24/7 (she taught at home). However, it was Lee University that turned my ear to it. I found my voice and began to see my potential on piano. Still...I wouldn't dare sing a solo or venture to play the keys in front of anybody. It was a mixture of individual efforts from Eric Freeman and Wayne Sheppard that pushed me into discovering a talent that had been long surpressed.
So...I've been playing the piano and singing now for about six years. I don't know half of what I'm doing, but I'm learning as I go and playing/singing what I feel the Lord is laying on my heart at that time. I'm extremely elementary in what I do and feel almost ashamed when playing alongside those with years of experience and a better ear than I'll ever have. I don't even pretend to know what I'm doing, nor will I ever be naive enough to think I could make a career out of my minimal skills. However, God has--for whatever reason--opened doors for numerous opportunities to lead Worship at a variety of places. If He opens them, I go. Easy enough.
One of those doors (thank the Lord) has been Celebrate Recovery. We were on the platform last night and I felt the Power of God. Don't misunderstand that phrase..."...we were on the platform" doesn't at all insinuate "we" brought the Glory. Nor does "...I felt the presence of God" mean to imply I played better because of my emotion. No. No. That phrase simply means He was Merciful enough to Bless us with His Presence and Gracious enough to allow me to feel a hint of His Power. HE was the One that sang through us. HE was the One that played through us. HE was the One that lifted every hand and voice to Magnify Himself. We were simply the vessels He used to Worship Him...and oh what an honor it was to be used.
Wow...that totally made sense to me. I hope it did to everyone else. I apologize if it didn't.
ANYWAY...
I was talking with one of my co-workers this morning and she asked me about Celebrate Recovery...what they do, what it's like, if she could come, etc. She said, "Ya' know...I don't have a clue what they go through. I won't even pretend to know." I responded by saying, "I feel so lost as to what they experience." She quickly interjected with, "Sherrie...I feel like I don't even have a testimony."
Wow...exactly. I felt--and still feel at times--the same way. I've never tried alcohol. Never done drugs. Was never abused in any way. I've never even smoked. How could someone like me relate to people like them? They've experienced and gone through some much...they fight everyday just to stay alive. Then, there's me...little miss nothing over here listening and wide-eyed at their testimonies. "I fight the craving everyday." "I was sexually abused at age four." "My Mom taught how to smoke pot when I was seven." "My Dad hit me contantly." "I overdosed three times and almost died." "My parents didn't want me."
What the heck would I say if they asked me what my testimony is? "Well...um...I got in trouble for bad grades and my parents grounded me a lot." "I remember some people at my junior college making fun of me because I wouldn't try beer and it really hurt my feelings." "One time my Mom embarrassed me because she wore her hair rollers to drop me off at school." I'm sure those at Celebrate Recovery would look at me and laugh. Seriously...what could I possibly say to compare to their trials and tribulations? Some would say my story is a great testimony...it was God's Grace and Mercy that kept me from those things. True. Very true. But, still...
I've come to the conclusion that I do have something offer them. I have a gift I can bring. It's certainly not the best and there's a million that are better and more skilled at it than I am. I have a Story to tell. It didn't start with me, nor does It end with me, but It changed--and still changes--me.
My testimony? It's through my voice singing. It's told through my fingers playing the keys. My Story? I'm telling about Him that sings and plays through me.
See...I'm of the opinion that a testimony is simply a statement of what someone has seen or knows about something. If that's the case, then I have a lot to tell about. For I have seen Christ in my sitation, as well as the situations of others. I know about my Father...about His Power, His Comfort, His Mercy, His Grace, and the Restoration He offers me. Whether it's my situation I'm testifying about or the Grace and Mercy I've seen given to the addict, to the abused, or to the abuser...I know about His Goodness.
Yeah...I've got a testimony and I'm gonna' talk about it. It might be in a song, through the piano, or simply talking to my next door neighbor about it. Doesn't matter how it comes out...as long as it's told.
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