I can't believe it's been three years tomorrow since I lost my sister, Mel. I never went one day without hearing her voice and laughter. Just amazes me how slow, yet fast time has passed.
On October 25, 2005, I thought my life was over. I seriously didn't know how I could continue, how I could wake up again, how I could ever laugh again. Those days, weeks, and months after were extremely trying. Days I Prayed not to wake up again. Days when I didn't know how to take another step.
BUT...God is Good. God is Faithful. God is my Strength. God is my Healer.
Who would've "thunk" it? Here I am...three years later, 42 pounds lighter, a smile on my face, and a future at my fingertips. I used to think living would be leaving her behind. I used to think going on would mean never having her again. I've learned different. The Lord has helped me see it different.
Please don't misunderstand me. I miss my sister so much it hurts. There are still days when I don't want to get out of bed. I still pick up the phone to dial her number. I still dream about her so much. I still have her number in my phone and on my speed dial. I still can't picture my wedding and having my first child without her.
However, I've learned that going on and living isn't leaving her behind...it's carrying her with me. In every moment of everyday, I can try to affect one person's life the way she affected thousands. If I can do that, her legacy will continue. My sister will never be gone. Never. She lives through the random person she smiled at in school, the person I'll never meet that she made laugh once in college, the fireman she interviewed for a story that later saw her ethics through reporting, and the child she and Paul adopted and saved, and through me...the one she always called her "first child." Melanie is forever.
So, Mel...here's to you. My life will be spent in an effortless attempt to carry you on forever. People will always hear about you, always know about you, and always be affected by your life. Your name will be carried on through my future child, whom I can't wait to name Melanie. I Love hearing your name. It used to kill me. Now, it comforts me.
I Love you, my precious and amazing sister. I can't wait to see you again. Thank you for being with us, for Loving us, for changing us, and for being so patient with us. ;-).
By the way, Auburn...I know Mel's SO disappointed in you. Please...pick it up, okay?
4 comments:
Thank you for allowing all of us to be a part of your life by posting these wondeful stories. I have enjoyed reading each of your blogs especially this one about your sister. She sounded like an amazing woman who has impacted you so much. Thats wonderful! I love you and I will continue to lift you up in prayer because I know its hard to lose someone your so close to but I have also realized through losing my dad God was able to reveal himself to me more and more and for this I am truly greatful! Love ya, Steph
I can't even imagine what you must have and still go through. My sister is my best friend and I would be lost without her. But this is beautiful and I'm sure she loved hearing these words.
Sherrie - She is missed by so many. Yesterday was a hard day - Keith and I talked about her and all the great times we had with her. She'll never be forgotten.
Hi Sherrie...long time. I have just today found your blog.
I had no idea that you lost your sister. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how you must feel. It is AWESOME that you continue to honor her life by writing about her.
I hope we can keep in touch better now that we are blog friends.
Carla Lee
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